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It's also written for LGBTQ+ people who are new to faith, or who have never had a church home and are curious about whether one might be possible. And for those who grew up in affirming communities and are relocating, looking for that same sense of belonging in a new place.
Whatever brought you here, you deserve a faith community that welcomes you fully — not in spite of who you are, but because of it. This guide will help you understand what to look for, where to search, what questions to ask, and how to trust your instincts along the way.
One of the most confusing aspects of searching for an affirming church is that the language churches use doesn't always mean what it seems to mean. "All are welcome" appears on the websites of churches that would never affirm a same-sex marriage or allow an openly LGBTQ+ person to serve in leadership. "We love everyone" is sometimes a prelude to "but we believe your relationships are sinful."
Understanding the difference between language that sounds affirming and genuine affirmation is the first and most important step in this search.
A welcoming church opens its doors to LGBTQ+ individuals. You are invited to attend services, and you will be treated with kindness. But welcoming, on its own, does not mean affirming. In many welcoming-but-not-affirming churches, LGBTQ+ people are welcome to sit in the pews while being implicitly or explicitly expected to remain celibate, not discuss their relationships, or understand their identity as something to be healed or grown out of.
An affirming church goes further — fully including LGBTQ+ individuals in every aspect of congregational life. Membership, leadership, pastoral roles, marriage, baptism, communion — all open, on equal terms, without a different standard applied to LGBTQ+ people than to anyone else. An affirming church doesn't just tolerate LGBTQ+ identities; it celebrates them as part of God's good creation.
For a deeper exploration of this distinction, see our guide to creating an open and affirming church.
Many denominations have created formal processes through which individual congregations can declare and demonstrate their affirming commitment. As you think how to find an affirming church, these designations matter because they represent a congregation-wide discernment process — not just the personal views of a pastor, but a communal decision that is documented, publicized, and accountable.
The major affirming designations include:
United Church of Christ. One of the oldest and most established affirming designations. ONA congregations have voted to explicitly welcome LGBTQ+ people into full membership and leadership. Learn more →
United Methodist Church. Following the UMC's historic 2024 removal of anti-LGBTQ+ language from its Book of Discipline, Reconciling congregations have been at the forefront of LGBTQ+ inclusion within Methodism. Learn more →
Presbyterian Church USA. More Light congregations are committed to the full participation of LGBTQ+ people in the life, ministry, and witness of the PC(USA). Learn more →
Another PCUSA affirming network, focused on theological advocacy for full inclusion. Learn more →
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. The ELCA has been officially affirming at the denominational level since 2009; ReconcilingWorks identifies individual congregations that have made that commitment explicit. Learn more →
A cross-denominational network of affirming congregations, particularly strong in Baptist and non-denominational contexts. Learn more →
An important caveat: a denomination being affirming at the national level does not mean every congregation within it is affirming. The Episcopal Church, for example, is officially affirming — but individual Episcopal congregations vary significantly in how that plays out in practice. Always research the specific congregation, not just the denomination.
When researching a congregation, these signals can help you quickly assess where they stand.
As you think about how to find an affirming church, remember that no single directory covers every affirming congregation, and each one has different strengths. Here is a curated overview of the most useful resources — and what each one is best for.
GayChurch.org is the broadest cross-denominational directory available. It includes congregations across many denominations and independent churches, and allows you to search by location. It's the best starting point if you're denomination-agnostic or want the widest possible view of what's available in your area. Its weakness is that listings aren't always current — a congregation listed may have changed leadership or posture since it was added, or the church may have closed.
The UCC Open and Affirming Congregation Locator is the most reliable directory for UCC congregations specifically. ONA status requires a formal vote and is maintained by the denomination, so listings are accurate and current. If you're open to a UCC congregation, this is the most trustworthy starting point.
Reconciling Ministries Network maintains a directory of United Methodist congregations that have made a formal reconciling commitment. Given the UMC's recent denominational shift, this directory is particularly valuable for identifying Methodist congregations that have been actively and formally affirming through years of denominational debate.
More Light Presbyterians lists PCUSA congregations that have made a More Light commitment. If you have Presbyterian roots or are drawn to Reformed theology, this is the place to start.
ReconcilingWorks covers ELCA Lutheran congregations. The ELCA is officially affirming at the denominational level, but ReconcilingWorks congregations have made their commitment explicit and public.
The Episcopal Church's parish locator can help you find Episcopal congregations, though since the denomination is officially affirming, the locator doesn't filter by affirmation status. When contacting an Episcopal parish, the questions in the next section become particularly important.
Which should you use? Start with GayChurch.org for the broadest view, then cross-reference with the relevant denominational directory if a specific congregation appears in both. Appearing in both is a strong signal of genuine, sustained affirming commitment.
Finding a congregation that appears affirming online is a starting point, not a finish line. Before you invest emotionally in a community — before you introduce yourself, before you bring a partner or family, before you start to belong — it's worth having a direct conversation with a pastor or staff member. You are not being difficult by asking these questions. You are doing exactly what you need to do to protect yourself and find a place that is genuinely right for you.
Here are the questions that matter most:
Do you perform same-sex weddings? This is one of the clearest indicators of genuine affirmation. A church that welcomes LGBTQ+ members but won't marry them is not fully affirming.
Are LGBTQ+ individuals welcome in all leadership roles, including pastoral positions? Some churches affirm LGBTQ+ members but draw the line at leadership. Full affirmation means no ceiling.
Do you currently have LGBTQ+ people serving in visible leadership? This moves the conversation from policy to reality. A church that is affirming in principle but has no LGBTQ+ people in leadership may be earlier in its journey than its stated position suggests.
What is your restroom policy for transgender and nonbinary individuals? This question often reveals how deeply a congregation has thought about trans inclusion specifically — which is frequently an area where otherwise affirming churches have not yet done the work. For more on what a good answer looks like, see our guide to gender-affirming restroom policies for churches.
Has your congregation gone through a formal affirming process or designation? A formal process means the congregation has done the theological work together — it's not just the pastor's personal position.
How does your congregation handle theological disagreement about LGBTQ+ inclusion? This is the most nuanced question on the list, and often the most revealing. Some churches are affirming at the leadership level while still containing significant internal disagreement. That's not necessarily disqualifying — communities are complex — but you deserve to know what you're walking into.
Is your affirmation of LGBTQ+ people inclusive of transgender and nonbinary individuals specifically? "Gay and lesbian affirming" and "fully LGBTQ+ affirming" are not always the same thing. Ask explicitly about transgender and nonbinary inclusion if it isn't addressed proactively.
Trust your instincts in these conversations. A pastor or staff member who answers these questions warmly, directly, and without defensiveness is showing you something important about the community's culture. Hesitation, deflection, or over-qualification is also information.
Not everyone who is searching for an affirming faith community is ready to walk into a building. If you've experienced significant church hurt, the vulnerability of entering a new congregation — not knowing how you'll be received, not knowing if the welcome is real — can feel like too much. That is completely understandable, and it doesn't mean you have to put your spiritual life on hold.
There are meaningful ways to reconnect with faith and community on your own terms and your own timeline.
Online affirming communities have grown significantly, particularly since 2020. Many affirming congregations now offer robust online worship that you can participate in from anywhere, with no pressure to attend in person before you're ready. Some communities exist entirely online and have developed genuine, sustained community among members who have never met in person.
Progressive Christian podcasts and resources can be a low-stakes entry point for re-engaging with faith. Voices like those found in the Progressive Christianity network, the work of theologians writing from an affirming perspective, and resources like those offered by PCM can help you reconnect with a vision of Christian faith that has room for your full self.
Spiritual direction with an affirming spiritual director can offer the relational, pastoral dimension of community without the vulnerability of a congregation. Many affirming spiritual directors work specifically with LGBTQ+ individuals navigating faith transitions.
If you're a church leader reading this guide, here's a brief word directly for you: the most common reason LGBTQ+ people don't find affirming congregations isn't that affirming churches don't exist. It's that affirming churches don't make their affirmation visible, specific, and easy to find.
A statement buried in a PDF version of your church constitution doesn't help someone searching from their phone on a Saturday night. A Pride flag that only goes up in June doesn't reassure someone visiting your website in October. "All are welcome" without specifics doesn't distinguish you from churches that use the same language but don't mean the same thing.
If your church is genuinely affirming, make it impossible to miss:
For practical guidance on building the policies and culture to back up that visibility, see our guides to creating an open and affirming church and creating a gender-affirming restroom policy. And for worship resources that reflect and reinforce your affirming commitment, explore PCM's LGBTQ+ worship media collection.
How do I know if a church is truly affirming and not just welcoming? The clearest indicators are whether the church performs same-sex weddings, whether LGBTQ+ people serve in all leadership roles including pastoral positions, and whether the church holds a formal affirming designation from its denomination. A church that ticks all three of those boxes is genuinely affirming. A church that hedges on any of them may be welcoming but hasn't reached full affirmation. Don't be afraid to ask directly — a truly affirming community will welcome the question.
What's the difference between a welcoming church and an affirming church? A welcoming church opens its doors to LGBTQ+ individuals and treats them with kindness. An affirming church goes further — fully including LGBTQ+ people in membership, leadership, sacraments, and marriage, without applying a different standard to their identities or relationships. The distinction matters enormously in practice: many churches describe themselves as welcoming while still holding that LGBTQ+ relationships are sinful or that LGBTQ+ people cannot serve in leadership.
Can I be LGBTQ+ and Christian? Yes — fully, without apology and without having to choose between your faith and your identity. Progressive Christian theology holds that LGBTQ+ identities are part of God's good creation, that same-sex relationships can be as holy and covenant-bearing as any other, and that the call to love God and neighbor applies to and includes LGBTQ+ people without condition. There is a rich and growing tradition of LGBTQ+ Christian theology, spirituality, and community to draw from.
What if my denomination isn't affirming but I want to stay in it? This is one of the most genuinely difficult situations in this space, and it's far more common than many people realize. Many LGBTQ+ people have deep roots in traditions that have not reached official affirming positions — and leaving a denomination can mean leaving not just a theological tradition but a family, a culture, and a community. The good news is that individual congregations often move ahead of their denominations. Searching for a congregation within your tradition that has made a formal or informal affirming commitment — even without denominational recognition — is a valid and often fruitful path. Denominational affirming networks like Reconciling Ministries (UMC), More Light (PCUSA), and ReconcilingWorks (ELCA) exist precisely to support this kind of searching.
Are there affirming churches in smaller cities and rural areas? Yes, though they can be harder to find. GayChurch.org and denominational directories are the best starting points for geographic searches. In areas where no local affirming congregation exists, online worship communities have become an increasingly meaningful alternative — many people in rural areas participate in the online worship of an affirming congregation in another city while continuing to maintain local community connections. It is also worth knowing that some congregations are affirming in practice without having pursued a formal designation — a direct conversation with a pastor can sometimes surface welcome that isn't visible from a directory search.
How do I start over after being hurt by a church? Slowly, and with permission to take as long as you need. Church hurt is real, and re-entering a faith community after experiencing rejection or harm is a vulnerable act that deserves to be treated as such. Starting with lower-stakes entry points — online worship, progressive Christian resources, conversations with an affirming spiritual director — can help you rebuild trust before you walk back into a building. When you do feel ready to visit a congregation, you don't have to commit to anything. You can attend once, attend anonymously, and leave without obligation. An affirming community that is worth your trust will make space for exactly that kind of cautious, careful re-engagement.
The search for an affirming faith community is, at its heart, a search for belonging — for a place where you can bring your whole self and find it met with love rather than conditions.
That place exists. It may take some searching to find it, and the search itself may stir up grief or hope or both at once. But communities of progressive Christians across the country — and around the world — are waiting to welcome you, not in spite of who you are, but because of it.
You are made in the image of God. You belong at the table. And the door is open.
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